“…so now she’s totally out of shape, and could really stand to lose a few pounds…” the Lab Rescue lady informed me with a seemingly genuine catch in her voice. “She really needs to get out of her current situation. Think you could foster her?”

Wait a minute! Why is it that every time these guys get a dog that’s overweight and out of shape, they think of me? Just a coincidence? Have they been hacking into my annual whole milk purchases? Illegally observing me using out-of-work Paparazzi? I walk. Sometimes.

“This dog’s not bald, is she?” I asked.

There was a long pause as she slid into “Why, no…of course not.” A nervous laugh. “Why would it occur to you to ask  that?”. She tinkled cautiously.

“Oh, just a passing thought,” I said.

I’ll ask the dog if she wants to set up a training regimen. I figure the Snickers bar will help.