Whether you care or not—and I know you don’t—it seems that there’s only one street in Santee, CA: Cuyamaca Street.

Everything Great Auntie Ann directs us to down here is either on Cuyamaca, or off Cuyamaca. It’s just past Cuyamaca. Or somewhere around where Cuyamaca used to be before they put in the bypass. There’s also a “North” and “South” Cuyamaca. That’s important to know, she says. She lives on Mission Gorge, which is far busier and more heavily traveled—but she never mentions that.

Who are those guys, anyway? The Cuyamacas? Mafia Dons? Mortgage modification specialists? Hedge fund managers? Is this an Indian tribe?…

If so, just forget I brought it up. I don’t need any more people suing me.