Archive for category Neighborhood News

Doesn’t look like Elvis…

There’s a crazy lady who lives two long blocks down our street, way down toward the end. She’s known for, among other things, her comprehensive front yard collection of hubcaps, abalone shells, plastic windmills, and a full-size terra cotta of Elvis.

She reportedly likes to stalk her neighborhood, getting into arguments with people about their plants, pets, parking and/or personal hygiene. She often threatens to sue. One day she wandered all the way down here, and I—upon hearing a commotion outside—arrived just as one of my neighbors was about to take the lawn edger to her.

I’m sure she’s out of our lives forever.

Where Carol is now standing…

I always like to tip the guy who delivers the pizza as well as I can afford. I figure, for him, it’s like being on Monty Hall. Any door could be the wrong door.

He needs a better pitch…

Flier on the front door: “Tony’s Hand Car Wash and Wax—In the Convenience of Your own Home!”. Are you kidding? I’ve got hardwood in here.

…You didn’t think I was still gonna talk about baseball, did you?

Just another shell game…

I ordered groceries on-line, and when I went to my shopping history I noticed many of the items I’d bought before were no longer available—yet over on the main page, they were indeed available, in slightly smaller sizes. 9.25 oz. maybe, instead of 9.75. Less chips; more air. Probably the same price.

How long before they sell us eleven eggs?

Unclear on the concept #4

Saw a sign in the neighborhood advertising SAT. YARD FOR SALE. I’m thinking of driving by just so I can inquire about their options for delivery.